I am just wondering how anyone can survive if a hole is drilled into his head? Seems like some psycho attempted to make his victim turn into a zombie by drilling a hole into his head before pouring acid into the brain. How is it possible? Wouldn't that person have died from the drilling in the first place? Even if he survived, would acidified brain turn him into a zombie? Do tell me if that's feasible (not that I wana try it on anyone)...

conclusion from my previous entry:
3/4 of the world needs some kinda psychiatric treatment to either soothe their nerves from all this fear as well as treatment to let the terrorists see that killing doesn't solve all their problems.

I think I have been trying to avoid the issues of terrorism, trying so hard not to mention all the blasts and hostage takings in my blog but I can't stand it anymore! Seems like papers are just splattered with so much bloodied news. Russia has just shown the classic example of sacrificing a few to save the many. I suppose they were taking a huge chance but at least they used sleeping gas to attempt to knock out the terrorists. But then again, it would have affected the hostages' chances of escaping if they were knocked out by the gas. Quite a tragic irony. And it is even worse to see how few terrorists were killed and more innocent lives were lost. Then again, this should not be measured against the loss of many more lives in Chechnya where the bloody war goes on. It's scary to see how so many terrorists of the same race suddenly surface within a few months. Now the last thing I hope to hear is an attack here. My mum told me to avoid the esplanade.Hell no! I'm not gona throw away my freaking pricey ticket for Singing in the rain. If i'm meant to die, I will never be able to escape death even if I hole up in my room. I told my mum to consider moving outa our flat since it is afterall a high rise building which is susceptible to plane crash. But I must admit that I am a little apprehensive about the coming beach party at sentosa as I will be partying there and the last thing I want is to have some bombs blowing off at the beach. I hope it is near enough to the sea so that I can dive for it should anything go off. Actually, I don't really blame the Chechen terrorists for their actions because they were driven to desperation and I must say that the war waged against them is more cruel than them holding 700 ppl hostage. I am not saying that they are right in doing that but I think the media tends to vilify the wrong people sometimes. Well, we can see that the rich and powerful people will always have this influence over the masses as they are able to twist their wrongdoings to make them seem right. Just like how the bushed one talks about attacking Iraq. I think he is super "boliao" and is askin for more trouble. I seriously hope that our government here doesn't support his campaign against Iraq or else we will also be inviting more trouble. I seriously think that WWIII will break out real soon if the terrorists succeed in building distrust between the Muslim and the non Muslim nations. I know what I am gona say next may sound clichéd but I do hope that the racial harmony ties in Singapore will run strong because the last thing we want is a civil war and neither would we want "nearby" countries which are most likely fertile grounds for breeding terrorism, to attack us.

I am so darn pissed. Coz some stranger juz called my hp and asked me in Chinese if I wana screw him. And I duno who the hell he is and I don't recognize his voice, and he sounds rather young. Thank God I was smart enough to pretend that I couldn't hear him so I was simply saying: Hello? Who is this? I can't hear you. And I quickly ended the call. Next thing I knew, he called again and I refused to answer that pervert's call. What gives him the right to disturb gals in the middle of the nite? It's 1 plus in the morning, what an unearthly hour to call. I wonder how the hell he got my number, afterall hp nos aren't listed in phone directories. Hope nobody circulated my number deliberately coz if so, screw that asshole.

I am surprised that i am still alive and optimistic about my coming exams. I am supposed to worried because I havent started studying yet and i still have loads of assignments to clear. I dunno if I am srewing things up for myself or I just feel like slacking? I feel so tired, I need sleep. the words/ text that i read have taken on a new meaning for me. i am more aware of the cognitive processes that i undergo during my learning process. i become aware of when i am acquiring and when i am simply learning knowledge. i am conscious of the fact that what i am learning and acquiring has become embedded in the ideological model of literacy. i try to find out the ideologies behind everything that i read or do with words.
i have been brainwashed by the system.

The fireworks at the esplanade were the most beautiful ones ever displayed in Sg history. They were even nicer than the ones we see annually. Best of all, I had the best view as I managed to get a table by the river and the fireworks were right in front of me. The joy of seeing such beautiful strands and spirals of light illuminating the dark sky was just so overwhelming that I was almost moved to tears by its beauty. I regret not having taken a camera along with me to capture these best moments in life for there was at least 30 mins of fireworks and that is definitely the longest in Sg's history. But I console myself that pictures can never capture that kinda feeling and joy etc compared to what's been recorded in my memory. The myriad of colours from the fireworks added a tinge of hope, happiness and positive energy in the air despite the ongoing wars and terrorist activities in other parts of the world. I couldn't help but speculate that there were probably hundreds of plainclothes detectives since this was the best event to bomb and the sound of the fireworks resembled that of a bomb. If anyone decided to bomb the place after the fireworks are over, I think I would have died in peace. I must say that this is one of the rare national events which really impressed me so much. There were interesting performances and the U Blues were just great! I was feeling so high on the fireworks that when I headed for the U Blues performance, I was intoxicated by the great music they were jamming. The acrobatic performance by the Australian group was impressive too... I am so bushed right now and all I can say is, I am really impressed and this is a night I would never forget :)

I can hardly sit up straight without relying on some kinda head support. It is sucha torture sitting through a 3 hr lesson. I feel so tired trying to support my head with my neck and not my hand. Gee, looks like my muscles have become so stiff that they refuse to shift back into place and support my head properly. And I am losing my head over this coz it is so frustrating having sucha bad back and neck ache.

Hmm, I heard a very warped theory today. My friend suggested that a person who does lots of sit ups tends to get bulkier or bigger at the tummy because the muscles are built at the tummy, adding more bulk while the fat doesn't go. Strange theory. I thought fats are burnt when muscles are built? I wonder...

I duno what made me wake up with sucha violent jerk this morning that I hurt my head big time as I heard a loud crack at the back of my head. Something was definitely displaced in my head and is now pressing on the back of my head and my ear. It hurts terribly and I feel so tired, I have no energy to sit up properly or even carry anything. I hope the pain subsides by tomorrow coz it's bugging me and I can't seem to digest whatever I am reading. And I feel really tired...

My tutor said that reality is stable if the hypothesis is proven right through numerous tests and there is no single instance to disprove it. She said that even if one situation disproves the fact, it is not significant enough to cause instability to the hypothesis. Therefore, reality is somehow stable as the hypothesis slowly becomes accepted as a fact. I don't agree with her. Reality will always be constructed so long as it does not involve the cosmic forces which we cannot control. As far as I am concerned, researchers will always try to manipulate their results in order to prove their hypothesis right so that they can construct a new dimension of reality and attain power. No matter how objective they try to stay, they can never be freed from prejudice or from the coloured lens which they wear to view the world. Even if we carry out numerous quantitative research, reality will always be constructed because the research method that is chosen to carry out the test may result in the effects which the researchers want. Even if one out of a hundred tests nullifies the hypothesis, I will see it as a significant finding which can alter this socially constructed reality. So reality is never stable nor is it natural. Dominant and powerful groups in society definitely have a larger hand in defining what is reality to their own benefit. For example, the hypothesis: People who have a high proficiency level in English are educated and are more likely to succeed in life. Such a hypothesis is usually constructed as a reality by these dominant groups who would keep reminding the masses of their inadequacies and that they would never be like the rich unless they are proficient in English. The ideological implications underlying almost every aspect of our daily tasks are shaped so often by the dominant groups in society that the rest of the marginalized groups are often left feeling oppressed. Unfortunately, this situation will never improve much because of social, economic and political factors. Sigh, the tragedy of social and financial stratification.

I must have bored many ever since I started reflecting on what I have learnt in school, can't be helped as I have to reflect on these issues for my exams ;P I think I must have studied my notes to the point of insanity...

I really duno what's wrong with the flooble chatterbox, it keeps disappearing and appears when it feels like. Must be some jokers who hacked into the flooble website and did this.. thank god i have a backup comment box.

Anyway, it is so gratifying to hear from my ex student after so long. He was one of my favourite students, though talkative but is a really bright child. I spotted him recently in the MRT but as I was not dressed appropriately, I could not go up and say hi to him. Sigh, I miss my students