My friend said: It's okay to be the third party or the "part time lover" of someone else. It's okay if a gal betrays her guy while her guy is also betraying her. I am apalled to hear all this from my seemingly conservative friend. Now am I the conservative one instead? Perhaps she hasn't experienced the feeling of being betrayed by a loved one. It's not just about being conservative and being loyal, it's also about being aware of the other person's feelings. Awareness will only help one become more sensitive to others' feelings, to the consequences arising from one's own actions. i strongly believe in karma, in other words, retribution. i often think about how patterns emerge in my life and i realize that these signal some sort of divine retribution. to some, these forms of retribution may not manifest themselves in the most obvious way but if we probe deeply enough into the punishment that we receive and reflect on why it occurred, how it is similar to the hurt we have inflicted on others, I believe that this helps us understand that we deserve what's happened to us. In the end, we can't blame others for the hurt they have inflicted upon us as it arose out of our own actions. Of course, it is difficult to always be so mindful of our own actions but it is good to cultivate mindfulness. In a way, our fate is not predetermined, it is determined by our own actions so if we are in control of our life most of the time, we can't blame others or god or whatever for the failures in our life.