I dont wana mope around and feel sorry for myself right now. What's done cannot be undone. I just wana be at peace with myself but my vindictive nature unsettles me big time. I am at war with my emotions. I wish that emotions is a tangible entity by itself so that I can just pull it outa my body and genetically modify it to strengthen it. If the size of the emotions determines the emotional strength of a person, I would love to feed it with Viagra or some other size enhancing substances so that it will grow really huge. I wish the same goes for my ego. I would rather be overtaken by an inflated ego than to feel mean and insignificant abt myself. The world around me is ever expanding and I feel smaller each day. I believe that one day I will share the honour of being part of the micro organisms species. By then, I will be contented with just being a living entity. Sheesh, I have no idea what the hell I am saying. My thoughts are alwiz so derailed. I dont even see any connection between this last part of the stuff I am writing with the first part. But nevermind, who cares. I just wana feel less vulnerable.