So badly I want to vent my frustrations,
I will just take it out on anyone and anything.
So badly I want to right everything that went wrong,
I want to turn back time.
So badly I want to find a reason for why things turn out this way,
I blame myself and everyone else.
So badly I want to be tortured,
I think the worst and hate myself.
So badly I want to be unconscious,
I numb myself then...

I am in the realm of unconsciousness,
images of my life are swimming around me.
I reach out to touch them,
they dissolve into a thousand fragments.
Every memory evades my touch,
so afraid I will contaminate the innocence in them.
I am bored because I can't interact with my memories.
I want to go back to the real world but I can't.
It's too late, the shaft of light is disappearing.
The voices from outside are fading, the crying, the wailing.
Darkness is swallowing me,
it is suffocating.
I do not want to burst anymore of my memories,
they are my only light.
I see an empty bubble,
is it supposed to hold my future?
It is special,
it is firm,
it won't burst.
I push my way into it.
I am in it.
It is getting smaller,
I am squatting,
now crouching.
I am curled up,
I am tiny,
my memories are gone,
all around me is red.