I regret trusting people so easily. People abuse that trust. I dont understand why they wana do sucha thing. Perhaps trusting someone too much can be translated into complacency. I think I have become too complacent as I assume that people wont misuse that trust so I let down my guard. I believed that people would not get much outa abusing that trust. I am so sick of myself, my folly. I now equate trusting others too much with the sin of being gullible and naive. I dunno if there is such thing as innate goodness in people. I can no longer trust the saying that everyone is inherently good.

People change so fast that it scares me. U can be on your way to heaven today and tomorrow u will be celebrating your co existence with Hitler or Satan. I think the more u trust someone, the faster they change and of course the more hurt u are. Dashed hopes, dashed dreams are also a result of misplaced trust. I see my hopes and dreams floating away from me and each time I try to grab hold onto them, they become more elusive and I get a harder fall.

Time to wake up to reality and face it: Trust noone but myself. Dont believe in human goodness. The ones who seem genuinely good at heart are probably aliens from an uncorrupted planet, disguised as humans. It is so easy to see the negative side of things and it is even easier not to trust anyone than to trust people. It is so easy to defile my mind with suspicion. I will probably die as a miserable old hag thanks to the kinda life I have.

What doesnt kill me will only make me more cautious... period

It's almost 3am, time to oil the cogwheels in my head.